WEGO Health Activist Challenge day 20 (worst case)

Monday, May 13, 2013

Today’s Prompt:
  • It’s the worst. That feeling when nothing seems to be going right for you and you’re not sure when things will turn around. The dreaded, burnout.
  • What does it feel like? What are your burnout triggers?

Hmmmm, WELL...

I guess this happens when I can't get my fevers to stay controlled  my pain isn't controlled,  my fatigue isn't controlled and either the everyday "mommy" stress gets to me, I am at the end of my infusion month, or I have extreme outside factors causing a flare

Funny, this comes up today.... All of the above explains my last week (I finally had an infusion on Friday the 10th)... but I was at the end of my infusion month, my toddler has started refusing naps and we are potty training, my father had a bypass and then was in Cardio Vascular ICU (that was the day before I finally got my monthly infusion), my left shoulder joint is in serious shape I had a steroid joint injection when I got my infusion but it not only isn't helping much but it always makes it worse for a few days (as in can't lift more than 5 pounds...remember I have all of that stuff above going on) and then on top of that it's mother's day weekend and one of my older daughters decides to go off on me and tell me she isn't coming home for mother's day. I am stressing my social security paperwork (no real reason, my attorney says we are fine) in addition to all of that... I am 2 weeks into quitting smoking....

YOU add all that up and you get worst case .....which ends with me in bed, unable to walk...joints swollen, skin bright red, fever off the charts, and a crying sobbing mess, wondering WHY should I even try to fight the dragon anymore...it would be easier and better for everyone involved if I just gave up the fight...

Add to that your normal marital issues, paying bills, housework, yard work...needing a break.... and I guess that's how you end up where I was last night...

I will never be able to prevent this, because it's all part of the Still's cycle  being a mom, having dramatic kids, being married, navigating disability, paying a mortgage  and just regular life especially when you are in your 40's with older parents as well as toddler children and trying to balance life with a  chronic illness...

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